Shake it Out

I think we all need a theme song. This week my song is “Shake it Out.” I heard it on Glee last night and it struck a chord. I have encountered some unusual people already this week including one very unhappy and unkind man – I would even go so far as to call him mean. Fortunately for me, he wasn’t my patient but I did overhear a few of his tirades that he unleashed on my nursing colleagues and it was quite unnerving. Imagine how the people who were actually in the room felt. I don’t know why he was so unkind. I have no doubt that he was painful from surgery but we have a lot of painful patients that aren’t mean. Judging from his tirade, this wasn’t his first. He was an expert at yelling. Maybe his theme song is “Mean Old Man.” 

When the charge nurse emerged from the man’s room in one piece after one of his rants, I thanked her for not assigning him to me as my skin isn’t that thick yet. I also asked her if she was okay. She told me her trick. She said honestly, when someone goes off on a rant like that, after trying to meet all of their needs, she said she sings in her head. It helps her cope. When she realizes that a patient needs to explode and she is the target, her head is filled with song. I love it. His screaming at that moment had nothing to do with her. She listened politely while he unleashed but it was set to background music. Brilliant.

Misguided tirades have been a theme around our house this week. Michael was on the receiving end of a disgruntled dad in the carpool line while he was dropping the kids off at school. Michael has become a regular in the carpool line. He knows how it works. He is also an architect so respects the way things are designed and how they are supposed to go down. Imagine his surprise when a dad pulled up next to him in the line, stopped his car (which is totally against how the line operates) and got out just so he could yell at Michael. He thought Michael was going too fast and decided it was worth creating a hazard and yelling at him to prove his point. Thankfully, Michael has a thicker skin than I do and was also perceptive enough to know that this man’s venting probably didn’t have much to do with him. He was confident he had been driving safely. He let the man do his thing while showing restraint. He assured the kids that all was okay (yes, the man had the gall to yell at Michael with the kids still in the car) and sent them on their way. I didn’t ask Michael if a song was playing in his head while the man unleashed, but if it was, I imagine it had the word “crazy” in the title.

I believe most of the time I am a good listener. I really try to be and I believe people have the right to my full attention when they are talking to me. Emphasis on the word talking which usually doesn’t come with increased volumes and a contorted facial expression. I am not perfect and have been known to try to do multiple things while carrying on a conversation, but, for the most part, I do okay on the listening end. I am finally realizing that there are the rare instances when it might be better to half listen…or filter what I am hearing. There are a lot of hurting people out there…people who have had experiences that have hardened their hearts and made them very, very angry. I come into contact with a lot more people on a regular basis in my current job. So far I have been on the receiving end of only one impressive, unwarranted tirade and it was very hard on me. I am sure there are more in my future. Some of the words may be justified but when someone is screaming, most are probably not. It may just be an unhappy soul that needs an outlet. 

For these instances, I am going to use my song.  I picked “Shake it Out” this week in particular for the line “Shake it out, shake it out: It’s hard to dance with a devil on your back, so shake him off.”  The patient this week had more than a surgical incision on his back that was keeping him from dancing and I think he might have needed to shake it out. The trick for me is going to be not to sing my song out loud when it fills my head. Who would be the crazy one then?

What’s your song?