It's NOT so Amazing! It's Frightening!

Something is going on in my house and I am quite certain that I don’t like it. I was driving the kids home the other day and Audrey says to me, “Mom, I know where babies come from.” My hands clenched the steering wheel a little tighter but since Audrey is SEVEN I am pretty certain she is going to say a mom’s tummy, or something similar. That is most definitely not what she said. I told Michael later that day that we need to step up the conversations with Mason since he is the oldest and we haven’t even talked about it with him. I know, I know. It is probably quite naïve of us to think he hasn’t already heard about sex at school but we were holding out hope that we could make it until 10. 

Mason is one to speak everything he thinks so I have been banking on the fact that if he heard it at school, I would know the moment he got off the bus. He sees those first moments when he gets home from school as confessional time. I usually have to brace myself as he comes bounding off the bus because I never know what he is going to tell me. He seems to feel better after confessional while I am left reeling with all sorts of new found information. I am working on teaching him to tell me three good things about his day before launching in to all the other stuff just so I can mentally prepare. I know this confessional mentality is better than kids that don’t talk to their parents but knowing every little thing your child did while not with you can be overwhelming at times.

After the education I received in the car about how babies arrive in the world, I hauled off to the library and checked out, “It’s So Amazing.” A friend told me about this book. I briefly skimmed it and it is full of lots of colorful illustrations of happy people that are somehow supposed to make this task seem less daunting. I then placed it on Michael’s side of the bed. I know – total cop out but I do think Mason won't giggle as much if he heard this from Michael. I have also been known to giggle when trying to have serious conversations with Mason which can sometimes be counterproductive.

I don’t think just talking to my kids about sex is what I find daunting. I think seeing them grow up is what scares me. Have you seen the car commercial where the dad is letting this really small girl in to the driver’s seat and telling her all the rules about driving? Then you realize in his mind she is a little girl but in actuality she is a teen. This is how I feel. I don’t want to believe my kids are getting any older. They are at pretty good ages. They are able to do so much on their own but they are still pretty innocent and need mom and dad. But there has been a subtle shift as of late. Now they are talking about girls they like or boys that like them. I think about their little hearts and I don’t want to see them hurt. I went on a field trip to Franz Bakery last week and Audrey sat next to a BOY instead of me. Yikes. I didn’t make a big deal of it, despite Michael’s text that I should squeeze in between them. Inside I was thinking NOOOOOOOOO…..NOT YET! I don’t want them to have crushes let alone kiss or hold hands until they are at least 20 and out of the house. I don’t want them to go through the ups and downs that come with liking another kid. 

I like Mason’s strategy. For the past year he has had a crush on the same girl. The best part is that many of the boys in his class seem to have a crush on the exact same girl. I told him that maybe he should branch out – better odds and then I thought…actually, this is a great strategy! You can’t really get hurt if all the boys in the class like her. Odds aren’t very high that she will return the attention of 98% of them…which means he probably won’t get any special attention or hurt if all his friends are having the same experience.

I know I don’t have much time left to be in denial. I don’t want my kids learning about crushes, love and the birds and the bees from other kids on the bus. And, if I am honest, it was fun and pretty innocent to chase boys in elementary school. I totally remember my first crush in second grade. It was fun to pass notes as we got older and to imagine going on a date or to a dance. Yes, there was unrequited love, tears and maybe even some heartache. I imagine many times my parents wanted to tell me to get a grip but we all survived. So, even though I can’t bear to see them get hurt, I have to remember that ALL of this – the crushes, the chasing, and the puppy love is part of growing up. I also have to remember that just because Audrey is sitting next to a boy on the bus or Mason is learning how babies are really made doesn’t actually make them any older. I won’t be attending any weddings in the next few years and nobody is going to have their first kiss or go to a dance any time soon. 

If you see me in the near future don't ask me how the conversations went because chances are, I won't have had them yet or, more likely, it will just make me giggle.