I often feel a little off – not quite sure where I fit. I
imagine many introverts feel this way. I like to help at the kids’ school but
don’t want to go to a PTA meeting…ever. Instead of feeling excited about the
prospect of a party, they tend to make me very nervous. I prefer fleece to
fashion, running solo to group exercise and a coffee date to a wine party. Growing
up I tended to get along really well with most people but only have a few
really good friends – same holds true today.
But, guess what? I think I found my people! I realized the
other day that the group I feel most comfortable around are nurses. With a very
rare exception, I find nurses EASY to talk to. Heck, I almost feel like I
belong. What a fun realization after all these years! I can work alongside
these people during a code blue, code brown (you don’t want to know) or other
event and in the next moment talk about work/family balance, what we take to
help us sleep and what medication a patient is on. We can talk about the wound
care we performed in great detail, over lunch, and nobody turns pale and loses
their appetite. What a great feeling (and something of a relief when I think of
all those years in school) to really like what I do and the people I work with.
This holds true for my first and current nursing job. Now, there is a small
chance that my people are only night nurses and I am in for a rude awakening,
but I am willing to bet I can find some people to connect with among those crazy
day nurses.
This is what I hope for my kids. I hope they find the place
they fit – even if it takes them until they are 40. I see my middle schooler
struggling with this a bit now. He is trying to figure out where he fits and
although we provide the occasional guidance (like if someone is really your
friend they generally don’t call you an idiot) he has to figure out much of it
himself. I don’t know where he will be most comfortable. If you asked him right
now, he is most comfortable on the golf course with other people who LOVE golf
but that eliminates most kids his age. I am also curious where Audrey will find
her fit – she thinks maybe around animals but who knows? I can’t remember what
I wanted to be when I was 9 but obviously it didn’t stick.
I still feel awkward and off step much of the time but it is
a relief to know that I have found a group of people and an occupation that suit
me. I truly believe that this is my path because, for possibly the first time,
I feel like when I am in my scrubs I am at home.
