My People

I often feel a little off – not quite sure where I fit. I imagine many introverts feel this way. I like to help at the kids’ school but don’t want to go to a PTA meeting…ever. Instead of feeling excited about the prospect of a party, they tend to make me very nervous. I prefer fleece to fashion, running solo to group exercise and a coffee date to a wine party. Growing up I tended to get along really well with most people but only have a few really good friends – same holds true today. 

But, guess what? I think I found my people! I realized the other day that the group I feel most comfortable around are nurses. With a very rare exception, I find nurses EASY to talk to. Heck, I almost feel like I belong. What a fun realization after all these years! I can work alongside these people during a code blue, code brown (you don’t want to know) or other event and in the next moment talk about work/family balance, what we take to help us sleep and what medication a patient is on. We can talk about the wound care we performed in great detail, over lunch, and nobody turns pale and loses their appetite. What a great feeling (and something of a relief when I think of all those years in school) to really like what I do and the people I work with. This holds true for my first and current nursing job. Now, there is a small chance that my people are only night nurses and I am in for a rude awakening, but I am willing to bet I can find some people to connect with among those crazy day nurses.

This is what I hope for my kids. I hope they find the place they fit – even if it takes them until they are 40. I see my middle schooler struggling with this a bit now. He is trying to figure out where he fits and although we provide the occasional guidance (like if someone is really your friend they generally don’t call you an idiot) he has to figure out much of it himself. I don’t know where he will be most comfortable. If you asked him right now, he is most comfortable on the golf course with other people who LOVE golf but that eliminates most kids his age. I am also curious where Audrey will find her fit – she thinks maybe around animals but who knows? I can’t remember what I wanted to be when I was 9 but obviously it didn’t stick.

I still feel awkward and off step much of the time but it is a relief to know that I have found a group of people and an occupation that suit me. I truly believe that this is my path because, for possibly the first time, I feel like when I am in my scrubs I am at home.