Closing the Chapter

I finished a book last night so I am mourning a bit today. I always feel a bit of a loss when I have finished a good book. I only read right before I go to bed so often I fall asleep before I have read more than a couple of pages Consequently, it takes me a LONG time to finish a book. Long enough that the characters start to feel familiar and important hence the sense of loss when they are gone. I really stretched out the ending of this one. I was reading on my ipad so when I hit 90% I only finished a couple of percentage points a night to prolong the inevitable.

I read fiction. My mom is trying to get me to read a couple of non-fiction books right now including Mortal Beings. Here's the thing. I read to escape. I LIVE in non-fiction and I find it REALLY, REALLY HARD. Why would I want to continue that in my reading? There are 100 things I could improve on in my life -  my faith, my parenting, my marriage. There are a myriad of great books to address each of these issues but I can't read them right now. I find real life exhausting. As an introvert who internalizes and agonizes more than she should about EVERYTHING, I need some down time. A girl needs a little bit of fun and escape every now and again. Reading allows me a break from worrying about my precious, fragile 11-year old who is adjusting to middle school and the highs and lows that come with it. A break from thinking about the hard conversation I had with my son about inappropriate internet usage. An escape from agonizing over the patients that died, wanted to die or were in an intense amount of pain despite my best efforts.

I am not great at relaxing. Mason's need for constant motion probably came mostly from me. I took my first bath in probably a year and only afforded myself that luxury because I had a bit of an adverse reaction from the flu shot and my muscles were really achy. Reading is one of the only things I slow down enough to enjoy. I get caught up in the stories, the drama and the relationships. I prefer a real live book as opposed to electronic but sometimes I am just too impatient to wait until I can get to the library or bookstore.

So today I will close the chapter on Letty, Alex and Luna and await my next adventure. Welcoming any suggestions that don't include the words "How to..."