My Senior, Class of 2020

The world is so weird right now. I am actually sitting at home on a Tuesday reading a book in the sun. Those who know me well will realize how unusual this is. I don't sit and read in the middle of the day. I have issues with productivity and relaxation - working on them. Also, it's a Tuesday. I took two days of this week so I could attend the kids' high school golf tournaments. Guess what? No tournaments. Not even just no tournaments - no high school golf season, no prom, no school, graduation?...yet to be seen.

I thought about giving my vacation time back. We bid for it months ahead of time so it is not like I can just trade it for another date this summer - those vacations have all been claimed. We actually have been staffed decently at work recently too so I knew my taking my vacation wouldn't cause a shortage where I work. I also needed to wrap my head around this online learning since I kept getting video updates from the principal and by the end of the work day, I didn't have the emotional capacity to watch them and pay attention. So, I decide to keep the time off and it turns out to have been a really good decision. I had no idea how tired I was.

With three days at home already behind me and a world that has pretty much shut down, I have already accomplished my to do list and more. I have fixed the screen door, done a ton of yard work, run more at one time than I have in at least 17 years, cleaned my house, and hung out with Audrey. So, I find myself reading in the sunshine in the backyard in the middle of the afternoon. And then I got to reminiscing....

I would usually have both Mason and Audrey with me right now. Unfortunately, a couple days in to their week with me, Mason made a few decisions that put him in contact with more people than he should have been. I know people have varying degrees of social distancing strictness - and I know people more and less than me. But, considering I work with immunocompromised people in my work, I have some expectations. To his credit, he recognized what he had done and told me that in light of what I do and the people I work with, he should go back to his dad's for the remainder of my time so not to put me and my patients at increased risk. I was proud of him for coming to that realization AND I was heartbroken to miss time with him. Especially when I know time with him is limited.

I have seen a lot of posts this past week about the Seniors. Pictures, thoughts, ideas of how we are grieving over the end of a significant time in their life that came so abruptly. I imagine many of us remember the end of high school with fond memories of prom, spring sports, graduation, etc. I am sad for him that he will miss out on some of those things. Realistically, his high school experience has not been all sunshine and roses though. With this in mind, I asked him what he would ACTUALLY miss with school ending - not what I assume he will miss.

What he will miss most? His final high school golf season. His team looked good this year...probably the best one in the past four years. He also wanted one more year with his amazing high school golf coach Jeff Stirling. Those two have a great bond and he wanted more time. He was looking forward to the last week of school for the seniors because it involves a lot of fun events and not a lot of work. He was looking forward to taking his girlfriend to prom. He was looking forward to graduation.

Even with all of the misses, he has a really good attitude. He is hopeful that some of the summer golf season will be salvaged and he looks forward to starting at Brown next year - assuming that will also go as expected. He is spending a lot of this quarantine working on his golf game - and hopefully finishing up his classes. He reminds me that I need to approach the end of his high school career with a good attitude as well. Because, if I am honest, I am sad for me too. I was already preparing myself for watching him walk across the stage at Sherwood, with all those stinkin' cords around his neck and his amazing big smile...thinking how far we have come and honoring his achievements. I am sad that the trip the two of us were going to take to Philadelphia so he could play in a USGA event he qualified for has been cancelled. I am sad for the experiences we will now miss out on. But, I will take my cue from him and together we will take it in stride and with perspective.

What is happening in this world is so much bigger than us. People are experiencing tremendous losses - losses of loved ones, of jobs, so much loss. People are struggling with loneliness and isolation and food scarcity during this time. The uncertainty of what the next few months will look like is hard for everyone. So, we will keep moving forward. We will be sad for our seniors and the experiences they will miss out on and we will find ways to honor them.

Today, this is how I am going to honor mine. Mason is a great writer. He took poetry last trimester and wrote some really beautiful things .A couple weeks ago he saw that the New York Times accepts submissions each week for love stories that are 100 words or less, so he submitted his. It hasn't been chosen yet.... their loss...



"When I’m single, I binge romcoms. Don’t ask me why. Despite this, standing outside with my arm around my “best friend”, I’d been actively avoiding my destiny. The rain started falling, the only thing missing some ambient, upbeat romance song. It took me 4 months to realize how to feel about the cute, smart, funny girl in first period, 30 minutes to kiss her. Underneath the stars, we’d finally gotten it right. Unfortunately for me, it turns out none of the Netflix romcoms remembered to show the guy getting home 2 hours late. Go figure."

*oh and of note, the 2 hours late didn't go over so well but that made it less poetic.

**photo credit to the amazing Jeff Peters