Then the Rising

It being Easter and all, the rising seems quite appropriate to talk about. If we didn't have Easter and the story of Jesus just stopped with the pain of Good Friday....I can't even imagine what that would be like. The pain of the death on the cross and Good Friday is bearable because it is followed by the rising. He came back. There is joy. There was even extra joy at my house Easter morning because both Michael and Mason gave up sweets for Lent. So, Easter morning was one big celebratory sugar rush for those two.

My soul sister and I have been talking about the rising for awhile now. This year has had some rough spots and both of us keep hoping that spring, the rising, is just around the corner. A few months back I sent her a copy of this quote I read from Glennon Doyle Melton -

"It hurts and it's painful, and then there's a waiting where you don't know what the hell is going on, and you don't think any of its gonna make sense, and then there's the rising."

The rising. If we know the rising is coming, the pain seems tolerable.

Here's the other half of that quote....

"That's the pattern always. But you have to stick around if you wanna see the rising. You gotta freaking stick around, through the pain and through the waiting. Cause if you leave you don't see it."

That's the hard part. How long do we have to stick around to see the rising? How long do we have to walk through this dark maze before we see the light? If I knew, maybe I could be more patient. Whether it be the loss of a loved one, parenting struggles, relationships struggles, the pain at times can seem intolerable...insurmountable. Today, it isn't nearly as hard to live through Good Friday because we know in three days, He rises. Easter comes. How much easier would struggles be on a timeline?

I am not sure how feeling is distributed among people but I received too much. I think when we were in line for the feeling I must have doubled back for more. The feeling....oh the feeling. Too much of that one which makes the waiting for the rising EXTRA HARD. The checker at the grocery story asked the guy in front of me what he was doing for Easter the next day. He was buying tv dinners and he was alone. Know your audience. When he said he had no plans I almost invited him to my house. Then my mom's voice and stranger danger ran through my mind.  I am all for having a house full of random friends/family for holidays but the stranger from the store might be carrying it a little too far.

I had a patient at work tell me to F*** off the other day. No big deal, right? Well for this extra sensitive, extra feeling girl....big deal. Took me all afternoon to move on. So this extra feely heart/body of mine finds the sticking around and being with the pain and waiting for the rising HARD. Regardless, Easter's coming. So we keep turning the corners of the dark maze and just around a corner, the light will shine through. And then the rising.