Blink of the eye

Today marks 25 years since my Dad died. Miss him. I can't believe so much time has passed...until I think of all that has happened in those 25 years. I graduated from college....twice. I got married, had two kids who are now both taller than I am and have two fun, adorable nephews. Time moves on whether we want it to or not.

I have been thinking about him a lot this past month with Mason starting high school golf. I have no doubt that if he was alive, he would be Mason's Saturday morning 6 a.m. golf buddy. My dad loved to golf. He wasn't serious about it like Mason but I know he would love playing with him and watching him in his tournaments. I was feeling a little sorry for myself, walking alone at Mason's first varsity tournament yesterday. I know he would have been next to me if he was still here. But then, as I looked at the wide space next to me on the path, and over at my sweet son giving me the subtle thumbs up after a good shot, I knew he was there after all.

My dad was also quite the basketball player in his day. He would have LOVED to watch his only granddaughter in her final basketball tournament last weekend where she was the leading scorer putting up 38 points in 2 games.

I see glimpses of my Dad when I am with both kids, but in particular, I see him in Mason. Both would agree that 6:45 is sleeping in on a Saturday and have/had an amazing amount of energy - especially when it comes to things they love to do. Both encompass an unmatched exuberance for life. My Dad lived his 49 years to the fullest. He couldn't sleep the night before he first took my sister and I to Disneyland because he was SO excited. I am quite sure Mason would do the same which is why we tend to spring it on him the morning of. Same was true for Christmas. Dad was the last one to bed and the first one up. I try to think of this positively as I hear Mason rustling around every Christmas at 5:45.

When he was younger, Mason would get so excited about whatever he was doing that he would often bounce up and down without even realizing it. I loved it. I am not sure when he stopped doing it but I guess it becomes less cool to jump when you are excited and a teenager. Mason reminds me of the good qualities of my Dad which has been very fun for me the past few years. His enthusiasm for life and in particular, golf, reminds me that my Dad is still with me in a legacy he left behind. I am sure there will be great joy when the two of them meet face to face...maybe even some jumping up and down and then 18 holes.

Today I will remember and be grateful for having a Dad who adored me and taught me about enthusiasm, joy and love. He was proud of me at 19 and I like to think he would be proud of me now. I will look out at Chehalem Glenn Golf Course, located behind the hospital, while I am at work and think of how much fun he had outside and, in particular, on the golf course. I will try to treat my patients and their families with extra love and kindness in his honor. I will remember that all we are guaranteed is the now so I need to live with intention and gratitude.