The Messy Middle

I know I have written about middle school before. How can I not? It's a confusing, awkward, nearly inexplicable time for kids and parents AND I have two right in the thick of it. Every day is proving to be an adventure. I have seen many posts recently including a few good articles about middle school like this one.....http://www.realsimple.com/work-life/family/kids-parenting/middle-school-worst-age-study. Someone actually did a study that shows that mothers of middle schoolers are more stressed and depressed than mothers of any other age kids. I don't know if I feel more stressed or depressed but I think I will take the articles' advice and practice more self care. I am all for more massages in my future. But parents that haven't gotten to this age yet, take heart. Truth be told that as crazy, emotional and confounding as my kids may be at times, I still LIKE them the majority of the time. I think they are good, goofy people who, on occasion, will still hang out with me. We laugh, a lot, in between the battles and the tears.

Today I have an unexpected day off. Census is low at work so they put me on standby. When I woke Audrey up for school this morning, she was thrilled to hear I was off. Funny because she has to go to school but she does have early release and I think she likes the idea that I may still be off when she gets home today. She was actually excited about the idea of spending time with me (or she wants to go to the Container Store this afternoon and this is her in). This coming from the girl who stomps up the stairs, slams her door and will tell me that I totally don't get it on any other given day. In his own way, Mason seemed glad to see me still around as well. He just expresses it more through grunting than actual words.

The stakes are higher and the pressures greater with kids in middle school. Our conversations are no longer about play dates but dating. Yikes. We talk A LOT about electronic usage, friendships and respect. BUT, in the midst of all the seriousness and hormones, they are still kids and goofballs. They both just wrapped up a drug section in health. I was quizzing them as they prepared for their assessments. Mason told me that he got one wrong on his quiz because he listed "cocaine" as a gateway drug. Ummm....once you have hit cocaine you have pretty much blown past the gate. Yep, we had a lighthearted discussion about cocaine. Who would have thought? He tried to convince me that caffeine might be a gateway drug but I assured him that my 20+ years of caffeine addiction have only lead to more caffeine. 

We have good discussions. They are still talking to me. I try to make nothing off limits. I hope this never changes. I was never great at the toddler stage. I like being able to have conversations and reason with my kids - when they are willing to be reasonable, which isn't always. Just the other day Mason was giving me some serious attitude and I called him a smart ass. I did. My mind said "aleck" but my mouth said ass. Not my best moment. I definitely have times where I don't think enough before I speak. Audrey instantly burst into tears because I had used a bad word AND it was directed towards Mason. Meanwhile, Mason just looked really, really surprised. Here's the thing though. They are at an age where I could talk to them about how I screwed up. I was wrong to swear and apologized. We had a good talk and I am going to do my best to not call him a smart ass any time in the near future.

I will always love my kids. Most days, even in these middle school years, I like them too. Truly. We have our moments and I am always on guard when they walk through the door. I am never sure what might be coming at me, but they are a hoot. They keep me laughing and I love (mostly) the people they are evolving into. Mason told me how in class this week he was at his instructors' desk and looked out at the window that faces the track. He saw a PE class running a lap and noticed that one kid was significantly beating the rest...so, he says out loud "hey, that looks kind of like Audrey." Then he realizes it IS Audrey. He calls his friends over and they all watch her finish first. THIS. For all the emotional, frustrating, confusing moments, I still get these moments and they make it all worth it.