My Baby's Wings

Many people are celebrating milestones this week. I have friends that have watched kids graduate from preschool, high school and even college. All of these accomplishments are significant and worth celebrating. I don't remember a big deal being made when we finished elementary school. For me, this happened in sixth grade. Everyone expects you to finish elementary. Parents don't sit around saying..."if I could just get my child through the fifth/sixth grade." I doubt my completion was met with fireworks and large gifts (sorry if it was, mom and I just don't remember). That being said, my baby was "promoted" from fifth grade today and in our house this is a HUGE FREAKIN' DEAL.

We aren't ecstatic because we weren't sure she had the smarts. Audrey does not lack in the intelligence department. She excels in math, reading and everything in between - well, maybe not geography. I asked her for a state the other day and she said England. An area to work on. No, I have never lost any sleep over Audrey and her intelligence. It is the lack of confidence and anxiety that has kept me up at night.

Audrey's kindergarten year was a blur - because most of it occurred through a haze of tears. She didn't want to go to school. She (and I) cried ALL THE TIME. She wanted to be home. She did not want to be with all these strangers navigating reading, recess and all the social interaction in between. Michael had to drive her to school for awhile to see if it would help with the separation. She seemed to cry a TINY bit less if he took her. Her teachers were patient and we were persistent. She kept going. We saw a slight improvement in first grade but there were still a lot of tears. For several years she was placed specifically in a classroom with one of her best buddies who seemed to make her feel more secure.

As the years went by, her confidence grew. By third grade she actually uttered the words "I sometimes like school." We still dealt with anxiety-related stomachaches and tears but they were much less frequent. People outside our family would express surprise that Audrey was such a funny, energetic girl once she was out of her shell. She finally was finding her stride.

This year has been awesome. She has an amazing teacher and a good group of friends. She has loved being an ambassador and even mentored a younger girl that deals with anxiety issues similar to her own. The girl who once never wanted to darken the doors of school, doesn't want to leave.

This transition will be hard for us. She continues to struggle with her nerves during times of change but I marvel at how far she has come. I love our school, the principal, teachers and all the staff who have loved on my baby for the last six years. She has gone from a sad, small five-year-old to a confident, lovely, creative 10-year-old. So, just as on the first day of school  when I cried for my baby who didn't want to leave home, I cried again on this, the last day of elementary school. But the tears are different - tears of relief and pride. She had a ton of support and love along the way but she did much of the growing on her own. We watered and she grew (and grew and grew, she's 5'2" now!). So beautiful Audrey, your mama is SO proud of you. You did it.