Monday, July 1, 2013

Debra and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day


This day never had a chance. I should have given up before it started. Going into it, I knew that after being up for over 24 hours, I was only going to get two hours of sleep. I should have quit while I was ahead –except I was never ahead. I knew I would be tired and have to muddle through but I had no idea what else the day had in store for me. 


At our 7 a.m. shift change, one of my patients’ decided to be all confused and less alert than before. You NEVER want to see that happen but at shift change it is the worst. It leaves you with the feeling that you missed some earlier sign. It’s hard to leave when things aren’t going well. I am already terrible at leaving work behind and that’s when everyone is stable. So…I got in my car late when there was nothing left I could do for the patient and I headed home for my measly sleep. 

I got home to see the painting crew had arrived at the house next door. Awesome. They use their ladders and tools right by my sleeping head. The dog that lives next door likes to serve as the foreman and order them around. Not ideal for sleeping.

I arise feeling….well feeling like I got two hours of sleep. I changed and then was 20 minutes late meeting my friend and her kids who had driven for 3 ½ hours and weren’t late. The park was only 20 minutes for my house. Pretty lame to show up late when it is on your turf. Even lamer when you are carrying a coffee from Starbucks. That shows that not only are you late but you also stopped and got yourself a coffee. Fortunately, she is a good friend and I think she will love me anyway.

After the park we told the kids we would take them to frozen yogurt…which was out of business. Oops. Before any meltdown I mentioned there was a Sonic across the street. So, we went. Audrey convinced me that when she got the “mini” blizzard with her Nana it was SUPER small. Too small for the average kid. I believed her and all the kids ordered smalls…Smalls which would be considered “large” in any other country. So, we sat and let the kid’s eat a volcano of ice cream. Sorry Michelle Obama. I was not a good role model of your “Let’s Move” campaign. Usually I am better but today it was “Let’s eat a week’s worth of ice cream in one sitting and then go lay around.” I will try harder.

We managed to get home not feeling all that swell. I had the brilliant idea of telling Audrey she could have a friend sleep over because the boys are on a trip. Good idea. Less sleep. As she prepared, I got the slip-n-slide out. We have this complex system to make the slide work – it takes two hoses just to get the desired effect. As I was switching the hose from my flower drip system to the slip-n-slide, I got tangled in the hose and bit it. Yep, tripped and fell in my front yard. Awesome. I had only had ½ glass of wine but on 2 hours of sleep, that is about the equivalent of four I have decided. After I looked around (thank you to the people who hid when they saw me to spare my shame), dusted myself off and applied a Band-Aid, I went inside.

I bought a Papa Murphy’s pizza for the kids for dinner. I had this brilliant idea that since the house was so hot, we would grill it. I have heard this can be done. How hard can it be? Well, a couple of tips. Don’t remove the pizza from the paper tray. It doesn’t remove well and then you have to rebuild the pizza. Another tip, don’t cover the pizza just in foil because, in the end, the foil just sticks to the pizza and then you have pepperoni pizza foil. Yep. I screwed up a Papa Murphy’s pizza. The girls were kind enough not to laugh as I called Dominos and they delivered. I even sold the girls on the idea that you can “track” your pizza as it comes to your house. Somehow this atoned for my total ineptness.

The day is drawing to a close I hope. I just have one kid’s movie to get through. I think I will sit behind them so they don’t notice the drool and head bobbing. Here’s hoping for a better tomorrow.

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