I almost didn't post this picture of the wonderful hike I took today. It was a great hike with a fun friend and I love how the picture captures my friend and the trail. I just don't love how I look. I looked at the photo and noticed I looked tired and didn't love those lines/wrinkles around my eyes. I was just going to post a scenery picture instead until I realized how ridiculous my assessment was.
Here's the thing - I WAS tired. I got up at 5:10 this morning because on Thursdays I don't work and Mason has the opportunity to get a golf practice with his coaches in before school. It's optional so I ask him every Wednesday night and he ALWAYS wants to go. So, we get up and go. My theory is, when a 15 year-old boy voluntarily wants to get up at 5:10 on a school day to practice something he loves, you do it if you can. I went on my hike after dropping the kids off at school and the dog at the vet.
The lines I was so critical of? Yeah...I'm 44. I have spent too much time running in the sun without enough sunscreen or a hat. I haven't done all the right lotions and anti-wrinkle creams. I have earned those lines from laughing so hard I cried and crying so hard all I wanted to do was laugh. I didn't have those lines in my 20's but I wouldn't trade where I am now for my 20's. I feel more, I love more, I am more the me I was supposed to be. So, I posted the picture.
Meera, the friend in the picture, texted me one morning a few weeks ago before 8 a.m. asking me if I wanted to go on a 14-mile hike. I asked her what day she was thinking and she told me - she meant now. Right now. I couldn't go because of previous commitments but I loved that she asked and I wished I could do it. Instead we made the date for today and had an awesome hike. I love that I have friends that will ask me spontaneously if I want to go for a 14 mile hike.
I was texting various friends the other day and it was fun to see that the people I communicate with on a fairly regular basis are of all ages. I love that I can be having a conversation with my 20-something amazing coworker who is smart, outspoken, hilarious and going to change the world of nursing, followed by a conversation with my friend who just turned 50 this year and crossed skydiving off her list this month.
I am glad I haven't been bothered by normal conventions of what a friend should look like. I would have missed many of the amazing people that have come my way. While my friends may vary widely in the decade they were born they share some common characteristics. They are kind, FUNNY, adventurous and they aren't afraid to LIVE. We talk about joys, pains, how hard teenagers are and sometimes bodily fluids (many are in the medical field).
So, yes, I have lines. I'm going to post the picture because I love that Meera and I went for a hike. I will keep saying yes to hikes, 5 am paddleboards and anything else you might want to do so don't be afraid to ask....and then don't be afraid to post the picture that shows you enjoying yourself, lines and all.
I think most of us want the fairly tale ending - the happily ever after - whether it be related to our love, our health, our friends or our kids. I always want my patients to get better - and if that's not possible, I want them to be able to go peacefully. I want good things for my kids - good friends, amazing opportunities and, of course, for them to always make good decisions. I also believe in rainbows and unicorns.
Since most of the time I actually live in the real world, I don't always get my fairy tale endings and I have to readjust. Readjusting often means feeling the pain and learning the lesson that comes with an ending that I didn't really want.
Mason has had an awesome high school golf season. He gets to play with a good group of kids, the older kids have been welcoming, his coach is great and he gets to miss a ton of school to golf. Not a bad gig. His team played in districts on Monday and Tuesday. They needed to be one of the top four teams to advance to regionals next week. From what I gather, since Sherwood became 6A, advancing beyond districts has been elusive but this year they had a decent shot. They came into districts in third place. They were hoping to hold on and secure their spot in regionals.
Since Mondays are a day off for me, I walked with Mason the 18 holes at Stone Creek. He played well and seemed to be enjoying himself. Never one to be much of a scorekeeper, I at least had a pretty good sense that he was playing well and it was confirmed when he enthusiastically walked off the 18th hole. He has felt pressure (self-induced) to help get the seniors to state. They haven't been to state as a team and this is their last chance. Three of the five team members are seniors. I have talked to him a few times about how it isn't his job to get his team to state. It is a team - equal responsibility. And, as a freshman, that's a pretty great burden to take on. Regardless, I was happy for him that he had a round he felt good about and would help his team. I left him all smiles to find out how his teammates did and wait for the scores.
After I got home, I got a text from Mason stating that he had been disqualified. I immediately had a huge knot in my stomach, empathizing how that must feel to him when he had wanted to help his team so much. He didn't give me many details besides telling me it was a scorecard error. Knowing my extremely fast moving son, I pictured that he had seen the score, signed the scorecard carelessly and moved on too quickly only to realize the error a split second too late. No matter how it happened, I knew he must be devestated and his team disappointed that they couldn't include his score. They ended up the day 6th.
When he got home that night the truth of the situation was a little different. His scorer had read his numbers for each hole as Mason checked them against his own score. They seemed to match so Mason signed the card and turned it in. When he saw his total added and written on the board, it was one stroke off from the score he knew he had gotten from his own adding. He then went back and pulled out his filed scorecard to do a visual check. He found the discrepancy - on one hole the scorer had given him a 4 but Mason knew (and had on his scorecard) he had gotten a 5. Signing an inaccurate scorecard is a disqualification. He alerted the tournament officials knowing he would get disqualified.
Should Mason have visually checked his scorers' card against his card and not just listened to the scores? Absolutely. I like to think he won't make that mistake again. Better to learn it now than at the Masters. Did it make the blow better knowing that Mason's honesty prevailed over what he wanted for his team? Absolutely. The knot in my stomach was still there but now in addition to being sad for him, I am also proud of him.
So how did I hope this story would end? Rainbows and unicorns. He wasn't disqualified from the entire tournament so he could still play Day 2. We were all hoping the team would come out, all play well and somehow redeem the third or fourth spot to advance to regionals. And, they did all come out and play well. Mason had a bit of a rough start - I have to think the pressure he was putting on himself for redemption was probably massive, but he finished well. Unfortunately for them, all the teams ahead of them played really well too. So, they stayed in 6th and did not advance to regionals as a team. Not the fairy tale ending I would have written but we all learned something from the experience.
From what I have heard, Mason's teammates and coach handled the dq really well. They didn't place blame and felt like they all could have done more to put themselves in a better position. I imagine all of them might check their scorecards a little more carefully next time. And a surprising rainbow came out at the end - two of the seniors and Mason qualified for regionals as individuals. A handful of kids that don't qualify with their teams can qualify based on scores throughout the season and ranking. In a slightly ironic twist of fate, Mason was the last kid to make it. The 200 they gave him for the round he got disqualified definitely didn't help.
The lesson keeps giving back, as I imagine it might for some time. I am training for an upcoming race. I needed to do a 12 mile run this morning to stay on track. The sun was actually out and my legs felt fine. But, about mile 9, I had a mental block. I was just kind of over it. I paused for a minute and tried to give myself a pep talk (I don't have a lot of motivating words at mile 9). But then I thought of Mason. On Monday, Mason proved he could do hard things. Calling himself out even when it meant disappointment. Things that are way harder than running three miles. I told Mason when I dropped him off at school that I was going on a 12 mile run. How was I going to explain that I had stopped at 9 for no good reason? I wasn't. I finished the three miles. It wasn't pretty but I think I saw a unicorn at the end.
