Perspective

I don’t really like working on weekends. Part of working at the hospital means working every other weekend. Sometimes it is fine and I don’t mind missing the rainy soccer games or the “what should we do now, mom?” Some weekends going to work seems like a break from routine. But, most of the time, I would rather be home on the weekend enjoying the kids games, family time and heck, attending church more regularly. Just last year the associate pastor asked me if I was new. I had been attending for five years. Of course he knew Michael and was probably thinking what a dedicated, committed single dad. Oh well.

Easter morning I really didn’t want to work but it was my turn. I grumpily threw on my scrubs and, because I have super early risers, was able to witness the Easter egg hunt before I left at 6:30 a.m. As I was driving in I had an Easter moment. If Christ could hang on the cross and die for me, I could probably muster the good will to go to a job I love, with coworkers I enjoy, even if it was a holiday. With my attitude slightly adjusted, and a latte, I arrived at the hospital more ready for the day.

Apparently Someone thought I needed even more perspective. One of my patients was roughly my age and just 24 hours prior had been leading a life not dissimilar from my own. Then pain that would not quit brought him in to the hospital and within a day he had surgery and a diagnosis that would be life-altering.  Even in the midst of his news he was pleasant and cooperative. Wow. And I was just grumpy that I had to go to a good paying, awesome job on Easter. Okay. Point taken. 

My patients continually remind me what it looks like to face adversity with faith and a hopeful spirit. It doesn’t always look pretty or clean but it is possible. I find this parenting, work/family balance, relationship thing hard. Really hard. Sometimes the challenges of it can get the best of me so it is nice to be reminded that sometimes I just need to step back and get some perspective. Working Easter wasn’t so bad after all – oh and the fact that my family came to the hospital and brought me my own Easter back with A LOT of chocolate helped too.

Celebrating gratitude

I started a post about a few grumpy and unkind patients who were getting me down and sucking my energy but then I decided they get too much air time. In the immortal words of  Elsa “let it go”… 

When Lent comes around I always wrestle with the notion of giving something up. Michael often gives up sweets during this time which is so not fun. I have to eat my m&ms in front of him and try not to feel bad about it. I am really not good at giving things up. My two addictions, coffee and chocolate, I just can’t fathom life without. I also think those around me would suffer greatly. I know…I’m weak but at least self aware. 

Right before Lent I read this idea from a writer I follow (momastery.com) about giving up ingratitude. Ah, not coffee or chocolate. I can support that idea. Her suggestion was to every day write down three things you are grateful for. Not unlike the unkind patients, sometimes it is easier to be frustrated and sad with what’s not going right instead of the other awesome things going on. So, I am faithfully writing down my three things every night and it has been interesting and kind of fun. Some days it takes me longer to get to three than other nights. I also noticed that some items, like sunshine, appear more than once. In honor of my new found focus on gratitude, here are some of my favorites from this past month…

A dentist appointment with no cavities

Sleeping when it’s dark

Sweet 90-year-old ladies

My lost stethoscope found

Ibuprofen

New flavors of M&M’s (I know, it’s a problem).

A job I love

A rainbow

Good babysitters

Beachfront bakeries

The ability to try again tomorrow

Next time I have a grumpy patient I think I might break into Let it Go and offer them one of the new mega M&M's...