I had a friend tell me the other day she was so glad to hear
that I was so happy in my new job. I found it funny since I hadn’t told her that
I liked my new job. I had said I loved the commute but that was about it. I
still don’t know if I love my new job. I hope I know soon, but right now,
verdict is still out.
We always teach kids that honesty is the best policy and I
still buy it. It is best to be honest but not saying too much can be okay too. People
can’t always handle too much honesty. Sometimes I am that person. Some of you
may know that my son has a habit of saying EVERYTHING that comes to his mind.
Last year, getting off the bus was usually followed by an immediate
confessional of all the things he had done wrong that day. This usually
preceded a “hi, mom.” I found the information dump a bit overwhelming but he always
felt better after and I tried to remind myself that it was better that he
shared too much than not at all.
I consider myself an honest person. I also try to be a good
listener. I try not to ask people how they are if I am not prepared for an
answer that goes beyond “fine.” If I ask you, I really want to know. I try to
do the same but I also try to read the person to see if they are asking as a
greeting or if they really want to know. I am savvy enough to know that the
checker at Target is being friendly and doesn’t want my five minute response on
how I feel in limbo. She may call security if I really tell her how I am
exasperated with my daughter because she can’t get dressed in the morning and
we may never survive the next 9 years.
I read somewhere that there is a study out that links a rise
in depression to social media. I get it. People on Facebook are posting their
vacations, successes and kids’ accomplishments which can lead to people who
aren’t having similar experiences feeling blue. Nobody is saying “hey, that was
a really crappy Monday. I pretty much suck as a parent and by the end of the
day, everyone was in tears.” I guess that’s not as interesting to read.
So, here it is. Things are kind of tough around here lately.
I do love my commute. I am blessed that my kids are healthy and I have a job. I
totally believe that. But, the new job is more of a transition than I
anticipated. I see a much greater variety of illnesses and have learned a lot.
The nurses and staff are really nice but the unit is in more transition than I
realized. The acuity also tends to be less which means more patients and
sometimes less time to spend with each one. There are times when I really miss
my neuro patients. I go between feeling like I am getting the hang of it to
feeling totally incompetent. The hospital itself is beautiful and I really
think I will like it but right now, I am just a bit more unsure than I
expected.
I am also finding this parenting of tweens thing a bit
frazzling. We have high highs and low lows. I didn’t really expect this for a
few more years. Mornings are ROUGH right now. Sometimes nights are too. I
am hoping/praying we all fall into a routine soon that feels a bit smoother.
That’s it. The sometimes messy truth we are living around
the Bonn house at the moment. Hope it wasn’t too much.
