Superhero to the Rescue

Super Audrey went to school today complete with cape and mask. I wish I had a picture. It is superhero day at school. They have designated dress up days all week. The kids pay to participate and the money is used for pediatric neurosurgery at Doernbecher’s in honor of one of their classmates who has battled a brain tumor. Usually Audrey is slow to get up and less than excited about going to school. Today she flew into my room all decked out in her Super Audrey splendor. I breathed a sigh of relief. Often mornings that I take her to the bus or to school leave me feeling a bit sad as I watch her muster up all her courage to face the day ahead. I relished the moment that the masked marvel was flying around the house. Mason didn’t participate in superhero day. Apparently in fifth grade it is cooler to keep your superhero powers to yourself. 

Yesterday was a day off for the kids and me. After a busy, fun weekend I was looking forward to a day to sleep in (me, not the kids, one of the musts of a night shift worker), run a few errands and hang out. Around lunch time I thought it would be fun to take the kids to lunch. Then I made my first mistake…I asked them where they wanted to go. I know better. My kids NEVER agree on where to go. A fight ensued totally sucking the fun out of taking them to lunch. I even told them that. Not one of my better moments. After much debate and threats of staying home and just having peanut butter – or maybe not having lunch at all – we ended up at Fuddruckers and actually had a good time. After a couple more battles during the day which I won’t bore you with the details, I ended feeling like a failure. I had yelled – more than once. Mason had cried – which doesn’t happen often. I am sure Audrey cried – which does happen often. We had good moments yesterday but some not so great moments too and those are what I get stuck on.

The person and mom I want to be seems so different than the one in reality I often am. I want to be fun-loving, patient, extroverted, creative and kind. Instead I am sometimes fun, occasionally patient, introverted, not so-creative and kind every other day. This is the stuff I beat myself up for – the stuff I don’t do well which can seem overwhelming at times. I went to bed last night feeling a little defeated – like my intentions didn’t quite match up with the reality of the day. Fortunately, this morning Super Audrey gave me a new perspective. If my daughter can put on her cape and mask and walk confidently to the bus, something must be going okay. Then this magnet I have was staring at me on the fridge. Yes, usually I don’t take a lot of stock in the wisdom of magnets but today I needed it “Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’” And then I read my favorite blog ever, momastery.com and she ended with “Don’t worry about having a great day. Just have some great moments.” Okay, I can have great moments. Nobody’s perfect. So today, inspired by Super Audrey, I am going to have some great moments. Oh, and this is a Super Audrey picture from a couple of years ago but she looks similar, just a foot taller.