Is Your Mama a Llama?

Mine’s not but I do like the book. She would get heat rash in the desert. I don’t think she has the same kind of water storage system either. But, not unlike the Llama, she is interesting, friendly and can carry a lot at one time. 

As I cried “underappreciated” and “on strike” to my family the other night, I heard echoes from mothers’ everywhere – including my own. I am sure I got the “you never appreciate all the things I do for you” speech many a time. I will admit…I didn’t appreciate all the lunches, the rides, the vegetables and the tissues. My mom got a bad rap. She was making sure we drank our milk, went to bed on time and making friends that she was actually willing to invite to our house. My dad had a big, loud, fun personality. If I hadn’t eaten a vegetable in my 18 years at home, I don’t think he would have cared.

Now, as a mom, I totally appreciate her efforts and recognize what a cool lady I have in my life. Not only did she make sure I made it in one piece to adulthood, as an English teacher, she made sure I also knew never to end a sentence with a preposition. Since I was very small I knew that a lot was two words. The heartache she saved me.

She has had kind of a rough go of it lately. Not everything in her life is running as smoothly as I would wish for her. On top of some other issues, her dear friend died on Saturday. She had the chance to be with her as she lost her battle with cancer. I know what she experienced with her the final few days was hard and painful but what a blessing for both of them that she was by her side. If she wasn’t my mom, I would want her to be my friend too.

We haven’t always seen eye to eye on everything. When Michael asked for my hand in marriage, she thought I was too young and wouldn’t give him my ring size. You will be happy to know, they have since made up. She still is trying to get me to wear make-up and maybe brush my hair more often. I had to tell her to stop telling me I look tired because at this juncture, it is my permanent state and she can just compliment me when I look rested. In the scheme of things, our differences our minor. She loves me, adores my kids and is there for me when I ask. She has taught me that strength and courage come in many forms. Sometimes you just have to have patience and faith that everything will work out. Thanks, Mama and I’m glad you aren’t a Llama. That would just be awkward.

Is Honesty Always the Best Policy?

I had a friend tell me the other day she was so glad to hear that I was so happy in my new job. I found it funny since I hadn’t told her that I liked my new job. I had said I loved the commute but that was about it. I still don’t know if I love my new job. I hope I know soon, but right now, verdict is still out. 

We always teach kids that honesty is the best policy and I still buy it. It is best to be honest but not saying too much can be okay too. People can’t always handle too much honesty. Sometimes I am that person. Some of you may know that my son has a habit of saying EVERYTHING that comes to his mind. Last year, getting off the bus was usually followed by an immediate confessional of all the things he had done wrong that day. This usually preceded a “hi, mom.” I found the information dump a bit overwhelming but he always felt better after and I tried to remind myself that it was better that he shared too much than not at all.

I consider myself an honest person. I also try to be a good listener. I try not to ask people how they are if I am not prepared for an answer that goes beyond “fine.” If I ask you, I really want to know. I try to do the same but I also try to read the person to see if they are asking as a greeting or if they really want to know. I am savvy enough to know that the checker at Target is being friendly and doesn’t want my five minute response on how I feel in limbo. She may call security if I really tell her how I am exasperated with my daughter because she can’t get dressed in the morning and we may never survive the next 9 years.

I read somewhere that there is a study out that links a rise in depression to social media. I get it. People on Facebook are posting their vacations, successes and kids’ accomplishments which can lead to people who aren’t having similar experiences feeling blue. Nobody is saying “hey, that was a really crappy Monday. I pretty much suck as a parent and by the end of the day, everyone was in tears.” I guess that’s not as interesting to read.

So, here it is. Things are kind of tough around here lately. I do love my commute. I am blessed that my kids are healthy and I have a job. I totally believe that. But, the new job is more of a transition than I anticipated. I see a much greater variety of illnesses and have learned a lot. The nurses and staff are really nice but the unit is in more transition than I realized. The acuity also tends to be less which means more patients and sometimes less time to spend with each one. There are times when I really miss my neuro patients. I go between feeling like I am getting the hang of it to feeling totally incompetent. The hospital itself is beautiful and I really think I will like it but right now, I am just a bit more unsure than I expected.

I am also finding this parenting of tweens thing a bit frazzling. We have high highs and low lows. I didn’t really expect this for a few more years. Mornings are ROUGH right now. Sometimes nights are too. I am hoping/praying we all fall into a routine soon that feels a bit smoother. 

That’s it. The sometimes messy truth we are living around the Bonn house at the moment. Hope it wasn’t too much.